“True friends are never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart!”
One thing I realized over the past three years is that nothing – absolutely nothing could be brought between true friends.
It has been ten years befriending my bestestestEST (if there ever is a word better than best) friend. And little did I know that she would leave, to a country thousands of miles away in the last year of school.
They were the usual promises like “let’s call everyday ok?” or “Whatsapp me every day” or “send me pictures of evrythiiingggg”. But nope, the busy schedules, the time differences and other daily routines took over our promises and it turned out to be more like: lots of long Whatsapp texts or recordings and pictures,
and maybe two or three calls a month.
But something I realized when she came back after three long years was that no time difference, busy schedule nor miles could shake something as sturdy as our friendship. It felt as if no time had passed at all.
Nevertheless, to keep these friendships going, it takes the same thing friendships always took: Effort. But the way of channeling effort is so much easier now, with the rise of technology.
Here are some tips to keep your long-distance friendships growing stronger, some of which I do to make sure my friend is alive and kicking and some things I too should start doing:
Avoid cancelling phone or video calls unless it’s absolutely necessary
Yes, time differences can be annoying. So when you have something scheduled try not to cancel it and make sure it happens. Obviously there may be times when you have to back out, but don’t let it turn into a never ending phone tag. I too feel so guilty at times when I have to cancel calls. When best friends live apart, there might be only a few times a week or month that you’re both free to talk – but when cancelled
once, before you know it, you haven’t spoken for months!
Choose a book to read together and discuss it over a phone or video call
This is something I should try out with my bestie too. Harry potter, the Percy Jackson series and Narnia would have been the only books that we both loved to read. And that was enough for both of us. Maybe expanding the genres of books we read and reading them at the same time would be fun! Even if you don’t finish reading them at the same time, it still would be a shared experience and eventually would be something to discuss in detail.
Wish your bestie for his/ her Birthday or Christmas in the old fashion way, by mailing cards and gifts
I personally think this is a great idea. It still feels good to get a letter or a card addressed to you via the mail.
The never ending excitement to see who sent it, trying to recognize the handwriting on the envelope is the beauty of going old-school once in a way.
Include them in the little things.
Including them in your day-to-day parts of your life when you can is another way of being close to them.
Whenever there is something exciting happening in my life I make sure I send her a voice note, maybe tons of them to express my excitement whilst squealing mid-sentence. Just tell them everything, just as you would if they lived in the same country as you.
Try to keep up to date with her daily life
New job offers, new love interests – are common topics that would anyway come up in a normal conversation with your BFF. But try to talk about the not so game-changing topics like something interesting they saw or about something that happened at college, maybe on how the summer job went or even her latest ramen obsession. Knowing the most random things about each other’s lives will help you feel like no one knows your bestie like you do!
Reminisce about the good ‘ol times
Talk about the good old times, when both of you were together. The crazy things you talked about, how you randomly started laughing and again laughing at your own laughs and so on and so forth. Take a walk down memory lane.
It would either crack you up or leave you in tears. Either way it makes you look forward
to the day where both of you will meet again.
Be yourself
Sometimes when your best friend and yourself are no longer together on a regular basis, you could feel that things are changing. Although certain things will, how you talk and treat each other shouldn’t change at all.
Sometimes you could feel insecure … like “what if she finds better friends?” but always remember that it is kinda difficult to find friends with the same mental disorder as you. (*wink* *wink*)
Make plans to be reunited again!
Basically from the day my bestie left the country, the two of us had been talking about the things we should do when we meet again. We would think of the craziest things to do. After three years, some of it did happen, some of it didn’t. Either way, making plans was the fun part of it. You would always be looking forward to the day you will get to live your crazy ideas. The best and obvious way to keep your friendship getting stronger is to visit them whenever you can. This is easier said than done. And maybe investing in a mileage program would be a good idea? Flying across the world isn’t nearly as advanced as it should be now but when you need to escape the stress bubble, fly to see them! Nothing’s impossible.
“The world comes to life
And everything’s bright
From beginning to end
When you have a friend
By your side
That helps you to find
The beauty you are, when you open your
Heart
And believe in
The gift of a friend”
~Demi Lovato~
Randila Withanarachchi
ENU 2021